Teaching in Vietnam: #2

Responsive teaching is something I have been trying to practice in my classrooms. Truth be told I feel that unless I work to understand my students, I cannot teach them as I will not know how they learn, what they like about learning, or why they want to learn (presuming that they do). It refers to the idea that as an educator, my role is to adapt to the needs of my students and the needs of my room. Inherently, I believe that teachers are merely tools meant to inspire students to collaborate, question, and think for themselves. The primary role of a teacher should not be the ‘sage on the stage’ or the giver of knowledge. However, what is responsive teaching if it is devoid of self-reflection and a call to improve my own practice? So, in the spirit of responsive teaching I will use the below space to process a difficult class.

Years before entering a classroom as the teacher, I befriended many. Education has been an enduring passion of mine as long as I can recall for it represented a place where I could be heard, derive feelings of success and competence, while learning about interesting subjects. Although most classrooms were positive learning experiences for me, I try to remember that this is not the case for all my students. My aim is to provide a space where my students can take risks, engage with ideas and practice English to achieve their individual learning goals. Despite these overarching ideals, I find myself considering how to best support students who do not share these beliefs.

As I entered class, the energy seemed good. Students were still riding the high of the last lesson that concluded with Stop the Bus and Billie Ellish. However, students quickly let me know that the warm-up activity was not cool by talking to friends and pulling out their phones. As a new teacher, I am still learning how to shift gears quickly enough to keep the demands of my students but I appreciate that if an activity does not interest students then learning cannot occur. Students must be willing to try to engage with the material. Surprisingly, two of my male students (from different social groups in the room) tried to help reign in the class’ attention. After a few minutes of what felt like being shipped off to the island depicted in Golding’s ‘Lord of the Flies’, I introduced transitioned the class to new vocabulary game.

Cut to about 50 minutes into class and I had “that” moment. I’d seen “those” moments as a student. I’d heard about them through professor friends who regaled tales of the classroom. I had even experienced a few, but this one felt different. It was a stop-you-in-your-tracks in a cold sweat kind of moment where you have no choice but to learn or risk falling into the trenches of the disgruntled. I had grown frustrated with a shy girl who had taken to shouting “no!” to let me know when she did not want to engage. Initially, this was all in good fun because she reminded me of me as a student. A student (let us call her Q) who is somewhat reserved, questions authority openly and is content to go about her business while picking up the bits and pieces of the lessons she finds interesting (while disappearing into her sketchbook for the less desirable moments). Moreover, she is stubborn, just as I was. Under normal circumstances, I try to integrate a creative element into my lessons such as a skit or a drawing activity to try and entice her to learn but this lesson felt like an uphill battle. However after little success getting Q to engage in anything from the warm up to a drawing game, I began to feel like I’d lost the class’ attention. In retrospect, I should have stopped class and played a random game with them that was unrelated to the lesson. While in reality, I asked Q to answer my question. When she refused, I stood next to her and asked again for her to try. A playful ‘no’ quickly became an irritated ‘no’. I made one last attempt to elicit a response by making my question slightly easier because I wanted to see if she was gaining anything from the lesson. She once again said ‘no!’ and I moved onto another student, yet it was evident that I was bothered by her lack of participation. I believe that pushing a student who does not want to learn does nothing but remind them that their teacher did not respect their ‘no’. I was “that” teacher. In better judgement, I left the room for a minute to collect my thoughts (and my judgement that had apparently disappeared in the pages of Q’s sketchbook) after getting the students started on a game. I had reached “that” moment.

For days following that class, I thought of Q and how to do better for her and students in that room. There are things about teaching that no one tells you because no one can show you how to learn from “that” moment or “that” class– the ones that challenge you, but when it happens you will know. My primary response was to be hard on myself. I began questioning my value as a teacher, as a person and my place here in Hanoi, but then I remembered a few words of wisdom from teachers I’d befriended long ago. One of my favorite teachers frequently said: “You guys keep me honest” (in reference to his students / our class). I think that I finally understand what he means by this because even on tough days, my students keep me bare bones honest with myself and with them. I want to inspire my students to question me and to let me know if a lesson is not working for them because it solely means that I need to adapt to their needs. It is not a reflection of their characters or their worthiness of a quality education. All students deserve to learn, especially the stubborn questioners. So, in the spirit of responsive teaching: Guess who owes my class an apology? And an even larger apology to Q? This teacher.

As an extension of this reflection, I am also learning that being a good teacher means being able to be accepting of one’s inherently flawed humanity. We all make mistakes but after earnest reflection, I am learning it is okay to let these moments go. Teachers are human. My best teachers were the ones who saw my humanity and made me realize my own potential. Embedded in this idea is the realization that to be a good teacher, I must learn to grow while not belittling myself throughout this continued process of learning. Here’s to a better class and loads more learning to come (ideally for me and my students)!